"Rules Girls" Rules for Boys?
by Rich Birkett
We've all heard of those "Rules Girls": annoying, desperate women who seem
to think following an absurd set of rules will finally lead to wedded bliss,
or at least, the perfect relationship. Now comes
101 graduates: boys (and even some girls) who practice a set of rules
that, although very different in most ways from Rules Girls rules, are similar
to Rules Girls rules in ways that even its originator, radio talk show host
and self-proclaimed Professor Tom Leykis,
may never have considered.
How? First, I will try to condense the core ideas of each set of rules:
Rules Girls Rules:
1. Don't call men on the phone.
2. Don't return phone calls to men who leave phone messages.
3. Don't accept a Saturday night date after Thursday, and don't accept a
Friday night date after Wednesday.
4. Don't kiss on the first date.
5. Don't have sex until after marriage, or at least, don't have sex until
after engaged to be married.
Leykis 101 Rules:
1. Don't compliment women.
2. Don't give women all the attention they crave.
3. Date women with low self-esteem.
4. Don't spend more than $40 on a date.
5. Stop dating women who don't give up or put out sex by the third date.
6. Don't date single mothers, because they are looking for the next stepfather,
and they pay more attention to their children than to their boyfriends.
7. Don't live with single mothers, especially in states where judges force
live-in boyfriends to pay child support.
8. Don't go to a club where your date is on the band's guest list. She
really wants someone in the band instead.
9. Don't get married before 25.
10. Always use a condom. Don't trust women to be solely responsible for
contraception or disease prevention.
So, what's so similar about these rules? It's the same old hard-to-get "aloof"
strategy that presumes what people really want is what they can't have or
can't easily get, and, conversely, people don't want what they can have or
can easily get. The problem with the aloof attitude is that, although it
may work with some people, for many people, this attitude is often interpreted
as: disinterested, indifferent, dispassionate, snobbish, and manipulative.
For "appearance challenged" people, this strategy will most likely fail,
but at least the ugly get to keep their dignity intact.
The $40 date spending limit could be interpreted as "cheap". Even Leykis
concedes this limit is sometimes not practical, like dining at an expensive
restaurant. If spending an extra $10 or $20 is such a big deal, perhaps the
cheapskate really can't afford to be dating anyway.
Would a "Rules Girl" be interested in a "Leykis 101 Graduate"? Conversely,
would a "Leykis 101 Graduate" be interested in a "Rules Girl"? The answer
to both questions is a resounding no. Although their elusive and manipulative
strategies are similar, their goals are irreconcilably different. According
to Leykis: Men want sex. Women want attention, money, commitment and children.
Furthermore, manipulative people seek out the easily manipulated, not other
manipulative people like themselves.
Other Rules Girls and Leykis Graduates Websites:
"Rules Girls" by Peter Kurth